Dear Grandma, it’s been a year since you left us but I have not forgotten you. Do you know that little things remind me of you constantly?

When I make a cup of steaming hot Milo, I think about you sipping your cup of Milo and dipping your favourite cream crackers in it. When I see a chicken drumstick, I remember how you always saved a huge drumstick for me whenever you cooked a whole chicken, which made others jealous.

Grandma, I could never describe how grateful I am to you, for listening to me, for understanding me and seeing the good in me when others saw me as a rebellious and naughty child. You were the only one who stood by me and loved me, even when others hated me and teased me for being so different from my elder sister who was so obedient and sweet.

Grandma, when I fell in love, I was ecstatic to be able to bring my boyfriend home to get your approval. When I got married, I was happy you could share my bliss of filling in the void in my life caused by the divorce between Mum and Dad. My dream was to form a happy family. When I gave birth to Jovianne, I could not wait to show you my greatest pride.

Grandma, my heart froze when Mum called me to tell me you were in the hospital after a bad fall. When I visited you, I could see how much you dreaded being in the hospital. I prayed so hard for your recovery.
Grandma, I am sorry. I am really sorry I was such a lousy granddaughter. Why didn’t I spend more time with you? Why didn’t I put down off things in my life and visit you more? You are so important to me and I never told you that.

Grandma, do you know I wanted to scream? I can’t believe that you are gone just because of a fall. Aunt Jessica said that you picked up a virus from the hospital, causing your leg to be infected and the doctor had to amputate your leg to save your life. I know your will to stay alive died after you lost your leg.

I know death has released you from your suffering. I should take comfort in that. But I never forgave myself for not taking good care of you, the way you took care of me. Grandma, I hope you will still be my Grandma in my next life. You have taught me to cherish what I have now so that I will not make the mistake of neglecting what is important to me. I love you, Grandma.